No one likes a martyr…
Not even the kids you are supposedly giving up your life for. Neglecting yourself to serve your kids will only lead to resentment, bitterness, and a shoddy appearance—which, frankly, nobody likes, either—including you, let’s face it. And your kids, you know the ones to whom you are devoting yourselves wholeheartedly to the detriment of all else, will have little if any respect for you. So not only will your roots be showing, your fingernails chipped and cracked, your belly flopping and boobs sagging, but you’ll have kids who’d rather go to Jimmy’s house because his mom is “cool” (and, “hate her”, pretty). But is she really all that or does she just take care of herself? And before you bitch to your other martyr, supermom friends that Jimmy’s mom, and all those other moms who seem slightly more put-together than your average bear, have “way too much time on their hands”, let it be known that most of those moms beg, borrow, and steal that time. They have been known to kill for it, on occasion. Letting yourself go in the name of taking the best possible care of your children is bunk. You cannot give if you don’t receive. Let me repeat this kernel of wisdom: You cannot give if you don’t receive. You’ll have nothing to give. Think of it, if you must, as going to the gas station—something martyr moms do a lot as part of their never-ending chauffeuring duties—you need to refuel in order to keep going.
Take the help that’s offered, use that spa gift card and get a facial, splurge and go relax with a nice massage, buy yourself something you’ve been secretly coveting (and never mind Susie’s new doll that she “sooo wants” that it may sit among her 25 other dusty dolls that she “sooo wanted” a few months ago). To hell with the kids (for a day or two each month) and make your time all about yourself. Think “Me. Me. Me!” and you’ll do just fine.
Hey, love the new haircut.
3 comments:
Yep, I pretty much agree with you there. I have gotten better at taking "me" time, which really pays off. Not only with how I look, but how I feel overall. And yes, when I look better, I feel better. (Like right now, I'm still in my pyjamas and I haven't taken a shower yet, much less gone so far as to put on a damn bra. And I really don't feel very pretty!) It's true that most of the time when I look like shit, it's because I've been lazy.
Thanks for the much needed reminder. Why is it so hard not to feel guilty about taking time for yourself?
...and as I read your comments, I'm sitting here unshowered in my sweatpants. Nice.
Time to beg, borrow, and steal.
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